they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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