Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
