You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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