Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
