i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
