Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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