they need to just BURY HIM!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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