He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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