you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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