It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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