I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
