he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
