I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
