And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
