i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
