If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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