she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your cock deserves a montage
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
