Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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