Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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