I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
