FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
