I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
