no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
