using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize