Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
