Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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