I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
