idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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