I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
