After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
