Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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