My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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