This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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