very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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