I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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