Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
