so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
