Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
