I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
