You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
