Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
