She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
