literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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