i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
