His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
