open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't turn off my feet"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
