We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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