Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think my mom watched the whole time
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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