So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
