I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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