Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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