Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
