so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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